Getting fired has a way of making you feel as though someone else has taken control of your story.

One day, you know who you are, where you work, what you do, and what tomorrow is supposed to look like. Then suddenly, a decision made by someone else changes everything. It’s natural to replay what happened: the conversations, the warning signs, the unfair treatment, the mistakes, and all the things you wish you had said or done differently.

But there’s a crucial shift that needs to happen between getting fired and building something better and new.

You have to stop seeing yourself only as the victim of what happened and start seeing yourself as the author of what happens next.

When Your Story Keeps You Stuck

There is nothing wrong with acknowledging that you were hurt, disappointed, betrayed, or treated unfairly. Those things may be absolutely true. You don’t have to pretend the experience wasn’t painful in order to move forward.

But there comes a point when repeatedly telling the story of what was done to you keeps you connected to the very people and circumstances you’re trying to leave behind.

As long as your story begins and ends with what someone else did, you give them permission to own your story.

You’re giving power to people who may have already taken too much from you.

Instead of allowing the experience of being to become proof that you failed, weren’t valued, or can’t trust yourself, you can begin looking at it as information. What did the experience reveal about internal work you need to do? In my case I learned I needed to understand my purpose, mission, and values before I embarked on launching Pearl Interactive Network, Inc., a for profit social enterprise that gave hiring priority to people with barriers to work. What did you learn about yourself? What will you recognize sooner next time? What do you want to do differently?

Start Asking Different Questions

Taking the reins of what happens next requires asking better questions.

“What can I learn from this?”

Maybe you ignored warning signs because you wanted the job to work. Did you stop speaking up? Had you allowed your job title, paycheck, or someone else’s approval to become too closely tied to your identity.

“What patterns do I want to break?”

Perhaps you repeatedly tolerate environments where you aren’t respected, or you overwork to prove your value. When you reflect on how you showed up at work you did you avoid conflict, accept responsibilities that aren’t yours, or remain silent when something doesn’t feel right.

The moment you started asking what kind of work fits who you are, what matters to you, and how you want to live, creates clarity on your own terms of what job or business resonates with who you are.

Ready to get started? Sign up to receive notice when my book “Fired to Inspired” is out at https://firedtoinspired.com/book/.